Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (A Review)
Screened @ Rave Motion Pictures U Penn 6, Monday, May 3rd
Seventeen years ago, on May 28th, the phrase “Based on the video game” got its start with Super Mario Bros., a now typical model of what has become one of the worst genres in Hollywood. Seventeen years later to the day, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time celebrates this inauspicious anniversary by taking the same missteps of its many ported forefathers.
The film, from most standpoints, is a mess. Its often nice to look at but a series of uninspired characters, problematic pacing, bland storytelling and an overwrought score make this a tough film to get through… ironically, a good thing in a video game! The initial action grab’s you with its parkuor leaps and desert swordplay. Jake Gyllenhalal’s Dastan darts amongst the battlements of a Middle Eastern holy city with perfect timing and spatial awareness in the midst of an attack in an effort to save the lives of the men he commands. It is, unfortunately, the most thrilling moments of the films 116 minute runtime. From here the plot as such takes hold and Dastan has to flee the city due to a set up and spends the rest of the film trying to clear his name. The culprit is of course obvious but the next 40 minutes are spent on leading you against your will down the wrong path. The saving grace in this movie is Alfred Molina. He first makes an all too menacing appearance but the veil is quickly lifted and we discover the comic relief – with some mild Tea Party Movement subtext to boot!
The problem with game adaptations will be solved. There are too many people out there that love these games, their plots and characters and action, to think that eventually the nut won’t be cracked. The biggest issue is that Hollywood (and Uwe Boll) buys the rights to cash in on a built-in audience and don’t put in the subsequent effort to turn the property into something that the audience actually wants to watch. On the list of all time adaptations this actually comes in pretty high on the list, I hope one day that may actually mean something.
A-
